Rituals:
Queer Acts of Healing
I often reflect on how vital ‘altars’ are as a site for vulnerability, joy, connection, safeness, softness, and validity. It’s been that safe space for me when the world feels extremely heavy and sticky.
Making my altar from scratch
(November 2022- January 2023)
Length: 41”, Height: 71”, Width: 24.5”
Wood, metal, spray paint, varnish, hardware
Completed with the help and guidance of Donnie Thompson (metal shop technician at NSCAD University).
QUEER MAGICK
★
QUEER MAGICK ★
When I’m in the sun’s company by my altar I’m able to see and re-experience details that bring me right back to intimate moments shared between my senses and material I worked with. The way the warm light catches my attention and pulls me in feels like a hug. It’s such a gentle presence. Before I took this photograph I spent some time reflecting and checked in with myself. Building and constructing this altar has to be one of the most significant gifts I could have ever given myself; it all comes back to this place for re-calibration + self-care.
A significant thing my friend & harm reductionist team lead said to me last year was “in order to help others you need to take care of yourself first”. That’s something I’ve always struggled with (in knowing, and in doing), to the point where burnout seemed to be the end result no matter what. Seeing how fellow care activists, harm reductionists, mentors & friends take care of themselves was such a break-through moment for me. I realized that acts of creation, as small or big as this, can allow for that process to begin and keep growing. Although burnout is inevitable, the degree in which it exists can be nourished.
“Today I deep-cleaned my altar and it brought me into a headspace full of gratitude + a sense of belonging I wasn’t quite expecting. It was special to re-experience the grooves and edges that make the wooden shelf and metal frame I made from scratch earlier this year. As we bask in pride month, I can’t help but reflect on just how vital ‘altars’ are as a site for vulnerability, joy, connection, safeness, softness, and validity. It’s been that safe space for me when the world feels extremely heavy and sticky; especially this time of year when pink washing is next to nearly inescapable on top of hardships and crises. I can’t speak on behalf of my queer kin/global queer community, but wow does it ever feel grounding when queer joy takes over and healing takes form.
I’ve been thinking just how lucky I am to have lived so much life in this amount of time; to be able to experience this much love, this much creativity, this much growth. It took a while but I’ve been able to understand these past few years that pain + life lessons have their purpose, and they have so much to say when they’re listened to.
The piece I’m holding is an affirmation I made for myself to place on my altar. This bound life force [queerness x spirituality] has been able to do so much for me and has brought me so far. It’s guided me to my chosen family and soul bonds; kinships that make life feel irresistible. Practices and crafts that make me feel so connected. Ways of expressing myself that make me feel so full”.
(06/05/23)